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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
- Woody Allen |
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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen |
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen |
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen |
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought---particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
- Woody Allen |
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
- Woody Allen |
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
- Woody Allen |
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I am at two with nature.
- Woody Allen |
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen |
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen |
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen |
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen |
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
- Woody Allen |
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen |
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal
- Woody Allen |
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We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
- Woody Allen |
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
- Woody Allen |
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen |
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Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right.
- Woody Allen |
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead.
- Woody Allen |
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Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.
- Woody Allen |
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
- Woody Allen |
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
- Woody Allen |
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
- Woody Allen |
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
- Woody Allen |
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Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen |
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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
- Woody Allen |
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- Woody Allen |
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How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
- Woody Allen |
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
- Woody Allen |
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen |
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Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
- Woody Allen |
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen |
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen |
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen |
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
- Woody Allen |
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
- Woody Allen |
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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen |
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen |
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Woody Allen |
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen |
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen |
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen |
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen |
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen |
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen |
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
- Woody Allen |
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
- Woody Allen |
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, espe
- Woody Allen |
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen |
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who
- Woody Allen |
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
- Woody Allen |
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
- Woody Allen |
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to
- Woody Allen |
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen |
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
- Woody Allen |
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
- Woody Allen |
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When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- Woody Allen |
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen |
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Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
- Woody Allen |
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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
- Woody Allen |
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|
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen |
|
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|
I am at two with nature.
- Woody Allen |
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|
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen |
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead.
- Woody Allen |
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen |
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I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen |
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen |
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
- Woody Allen |
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At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to adm
- Woody Allen |
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen |
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Thought Why does man kill He kills for food. And not only food frequently there must be a beverage.
- Woody Allen |
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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen |
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered
- Woody Allen |
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen |
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|
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
- Woody Allen |
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen |
|
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|
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter
- Woody Allen |
|
| |
|
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size
- Woody Allen |
|
| |
|
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
- Woody Allen |
|
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- Woody Allen |
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I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
- Woody Allen |
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
- Woody Allen |
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- Woody Allen |
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It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
- Woody Allen |
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If only God would give me some clear sign Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen |
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If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he
- Woody Allen |
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the w
- Woody Allen |
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
- Woody Allen |
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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen |
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
- Woody Allen |
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
- Woody Allen |
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
- Woody Allen |
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
- Woody Allen |
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen |
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman
- Woody Allen |
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won\'t get much sleep.
- Woody Allen |
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen |
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen |
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists
- Woody Allen |
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
- Woody Allen |
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|
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen |
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won\'t get much sleep.
- Woody Allen |
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
- Woody Allen |
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